And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
