Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
