You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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