you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
