k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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