Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
