i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You took a bar mat shot.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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