Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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