I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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