he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
