Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
