We're facebook friends in real life
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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