I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
