But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
