It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
