they need to just BURY HIM!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
