I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
