Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
