the condom got lost in my hair
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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