Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my sisters under your porch take her home
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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