Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
