You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
