so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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