yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
