No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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