Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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