I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
