it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
