he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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