you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
