Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
