Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
