Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
