i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
