And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
