so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Drunk is not a location!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
