Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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