So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
