hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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