I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
