I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
