your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
