u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
