I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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