somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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