Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
