i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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