its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
