This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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