also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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