goodnight i made you a song goodbye
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
