Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
