Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize